What Coaching Is (And What it Isn't)

I was on a consultation call recently (A consultation call is a free conversation where a coach and a potential client explore whether they’re a good fit to work together, and where I get to share what coaching is, and just as importantly, what it isn’t).

Partway through, she said: “Well, coaching is basically you just giving me advice on what to do.”

Um, no.

I explained what coaching was, and wasn't. But it stayed with me. And it has been sitting on my to do list ever since: write something that explains what coaching actually is. Who it’s for. What to expect. Because if she thought that, plenty of other people do too.

So here it is.

Myth one: coaching is for executives and senior leaders

No.

Yes, plenty of executives and senior leaders work with a coach, often regularly. Once you reach a senior position it can be a lonely place. A great deal rests on you, and on the decisions you make, and there are fewer and fewer people you can think out loud with safely. A good coach becomes essential at that level.

But coaching is not reserved for them. It’s for everyone. No matter your job role, your salary, or whether you work full time or part time. (Ever been told you can’t access development because you only work part time? Yes. That one still stings.)

So why do some coaches call it Executive Coaching? Good question. That phrase refers to the qualification level of the coach, a Level 7 qualification, which sits at Masters level. It tells you something about the practitioner’s training, not about who is allowed in the room.

What matters far more than the name is your coach’s professional accreditation. Coaches with significant experience and training hold Senior Practitioner status with bodies like the EMCC, the ICF, and other professional coaching organisations. That status isn’t a one off badge. It means they undertake regular supervision to keep developing their practice, complete a minimum number of CPD hours every year, and work within a professional code of ethics (the Global Code of Ethics for Coaches, Mentors and Supervisors, in the case of the EMCC). It’s the accreditation, not the job title in the room, that tells you you’re in safe, skilled hands. (And you can always ask a coach for their accreditation if it isn’t already on their profile or website.)

Myth two: coaching is advice giving

Also no.

Coaching holds the space for you to think. A good coach will never tell you what to do. More often than not, we’ll answer a question with a question. (Unless you’re working with a mentor, which is a different relationship altogether, and a blog for another day.)

Coaching starts from a simple belief: that you already have the answers within you. My job is not to give you mine. It’s to ask the questions that help you unlock your own thinking, notice the patterns and beliefs you’ve stopped seeing, and move towards the vision you’re quietly reaching for.

Myth three: coaching has to be about work

No.

Work might well be the reason you first think about coaching. There’s a problem you’re wrestling with, a project you’d like some thinking support to lead, a decision that won’t sit still. That’s often when people reach out.

But underneath all of it is you. Who you are. How you show up, for yourself and for everyone else. And that’s what I coach. Not just the work problem on the surface, but the whole person underneath it.

Over the years I’ve supported women going through divorce and the complex legal processes that come with it, through perimenopause and their wellbeing, through conflict at work, organisational change and restructuring, a career pivot, promotion or interview preparation.

No subject is too big or too small for coaching (but we will focus on manageable goals for our time together).

Myth four: one conversation will sort it

Not quite.

A single conversation can be powerful, and now and then one session is exactly what someone needs. But the change that really lasts tends to come from a series of conversations over time. Coaching isn’t a quick fix. At it's best, it’s a programme of work.

How that looks is different for everyone. Some clients prefer to meet weekly over six to eight weeks, keeping the momentum going while we move a large or important piece of work forward. Others prefer a little more space, meeting every two to four weeks, which gives them time to reflect, to experiment with what’s emerging, and then bring it back to the room to explore further.

Most of the clients I work with stay with me for three to six months. And many come back the following year, when life has moved on and a new set of questions has arrived.

So what actually happens?

Your coach will create a safe space, where you get to hear yourself think out loud without being judged, fixed, or hurried.

Most of the women I work with spend their days holding that space for everyone else. Their team. Their children. Their partner. Their ageing parents. They are the ones who listen, who steady things, who carry the mental load. And almost no one is holding that same quality of attention for them.

When they finally have it, even for an hour, something shifts. They hear what they actually think, sometimes for the first time in years. They notice the story they’ve been telling themselves. They start to separate what’s genuinely theirs to carry from what isn’t. And from that clearer place, the decisions that felt impossible begin to feel possible.

One comment from a client a few years ago has stayed with me. At the start of our second session, she said: “I’ve told all my friends and colleagues they need to work with you. I had no idea how much I needed a coach.”

That’s the part most people don’t expect. It gives you something you didn’t realise you’d been going without.

So, is it for you?

You don’t need a crisis. You don’t need a senior title or a development budget or a seat in the board room. You don’t need to have it all worked out before you start. (In fact, if you had it all worked out, you wouldn’t need coaching at all.)

You just need to be willing to think honestly about where you are and where you’d like to be.

If any of this has made you curious, the first step is exactly the kind of conversation I described at the start. A consultation call, to see if we’re a good fit. No pressure, no commitment, just a chance to explore whether coaching is right for you.

Book a free consultation call: https://api.leadconnectorhq.com/widget/booking/cYA7i97GYGnsbQ1bBwRt