The Art of Holding Space

Facilitating with Confidence, Connection, and Purpose

Facilitating a group isn’t just about managing time or delivering content—it’s about creating a space where people feel seen, heard, and safe enough to grow. It’s about holding space with intention, presence, and adaptability. And while it might look effortless from the outside, facilitation is anything but easy.

This blog is a reflection on my journey into facilitation—how it found me, how I grew into it, and what I’ve learned over 15 years of leading, learning, and inspiring others. Whether you're a coach, leader, or facilitator-in-the-making, I hope this offers insight, encouragement, and practical wisdom to help you deepen your own practice.

Is It Easy to Facilitate a Group?

My first thought? No.
Then a Yes.
And then… back to No again.

That little mental back-and-forth got me thinking: how did I even end up as a facilitator?

I didn’t choose it. It chose me.

Facilitation wasn’t a career goal. It was a natural next step. As an HR Business Partner, I was the operational lead for around 1,500 staff across multidisciplinary teams and services. I knew HR policies inside out, led organisational change projects, implemented national changes locally, and supported leaders and staff through service redesign, restructuring and redundancy.

What I didn’t realise at the time was that I was already facilitating—conversations, change, learning. It was a transferable skill I hadn’t yet named.

My First “Real” Facilitation Moment

It was a Leadership Development study day for the divisional management team. I poured hours into it—researching, writing content, structuring it for different learning styles, and designing slides that wouldn’t send anyone to sleep. I agonised over the balance: too much? too little? Where’s the sweet spot?

I probably didn’t sleep the night before. All the what-ifs were swirling.

I’d facilitated group training before—induction sessions, HR study days for graduate schemes—but this felt different.

And you know what?
I was good at it. (its' not bragging if its based on fact!)

I delivered that session again. And again. It became part of a 3-day leadership programme. Then came other HR programmes for leaders. Eventually, I stepped into a role where I was responsible for all Leadership Development in the organisation.

I was learning, growing, inspiring others—and I loved it.

More Than 15 Years Later…

I’m still facilitating.
Still learning.
Still growing.
Still inspiring others.

And I don’t think I’ll ever tire of it.

But is it easy?
No.
And here’s why.

The Real Work of Facilitation

Facilitation is a skillset in itself. It’s about reading the room—not just what’s said, but what’s not said. It’s about sensing energy—are people engaged? Is the content landing? It’s about adjusting in real-time—stepping it up or down to meet the group where they are.

Creating safety is another essential part of facilitation. Sometimes that means mixing up formats—working in pairs or small groups—so everyone can contribute in a way that feels comfortable.

When you’re facilitating learning, you’re often wearing multiple hats. You’re a trainer, sharing knowledge and experience. You’re a facilitator, guiding the conversation. You’re a coach, helping participants find their own answers. It’s a blended approach that demands both expertise and humility.

And when it comes to meetings or events, the challenge is different. You’re managing time, agendas, outcomes, behaviours, and group dynamics—all while making sure every voice is heard. It’s not just about getting through the agenda; it’s about creating a space where people feel empowered to contribute.

Facilitation Is a Practice

It’s not a script.
It’s not a performance.
It’s a practice.

One that requires emotional intelligence, self-awareness, flexibility, and a deep respect for the people in the room.

And here’s something I’ve learned the hard way: how I show up as a facilitator matters just as much as the tools and techniques I use. If I can’t leave my emotions, distractions, or worries at the door, it’s harder to do my job. Sometimes adrenaline gets me through, but it’s not sustainable. Finding a way to consciously park the human factor—to ground myself, breathe, and step into presence—is key.

Because when I’m fully present, I can hold space for others with confidence and compassion. When I’m not, the group feels it.

(And yes, let’s be honest—coffee helps too.)

You learn to hold space for discomfort, for breakthroughs, for silence. You learn to trust the process, even when it feels messy. You learn to let go of control and lean into connection.

And yes, it’s tiring. You get sick of hearing your own voice (or at least I do!). But it’s also deeply rewarding—when the conversation is rich and everyone is engaged and participating—that’s pure joy.

There’s something powerful about watching a group come alive, about seeing individuals grow in confidence and clarity. Being part of their journey. That’s the magic of facilitation—it’s not what I say, but in showing up and holding the space, it gives people the chance to slow down, be present and lean in to their growth and develop.

People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel - Maya Angelou

Coaching Prompts for Reflective Facilitators

If you’re curious about developing your facilitation practice, try these reflective prompts:

✨ When was the last time I held space for a group—even informally? What did I notice about myself in that moment?

✨ What do I find most challenging in group settings—silence, conflict, disengagement? What does that reveal about me?

✨ How do I prepare for a group? Do I over-prepare, under-prepare, or strike a balance?

✨ When do I feel most alive when facilitating—what lights me up?

✨ What does “safety” look like in the groups I lead? How do I actively create it?

Top Tips to Grow Your Facilitation Skills

Here are eight ways to start building your facilitation toolkit:

1. Reflect on your strengths.
   You’re probably already facilitating without realising it. Notice moments where you’ve helped others think, learn, or collaborate.

2. Practice presence.
   Learn to read the room—body language, tone, energy shifts. Respond with curiosity rather than control.

3. Design with intention.
   Always start with purpose: What do I want participants to experience, learn, or take away?

4. Create psychological safety.
   Set the tone early. Invite openness, model vulnerability, and offer multiple ways to contribute.

5. Blend your roles.
   Know when to step into trainer, coach, or guide mode—and when to step back.

6. Build your toolkit.
   Experiment with Liberating Structures, World Cafés, or action learning sets. Try formats that stretch you.

7. Debrief and reflect.
   Keep a facilitation journal. Reflection is where growth happens.

8. Get support.
   Facilitation can feel lonely—find mentors, peers, or coaches who “get it.”

Final Reflection

Facilitation is not about being the expert at the front of the room. It’s about creating the conditions for others to thrive. When we hold space well, people walk away not just with new ideas—but with the sense that they were seen, heard, and valued.

For me, that’s what matters most.

Over the years, I’ve realised I don’t want to be the facilitator who dazzles people with slides or holds the room with clever words. I want to be the facilitator who creates a space where people feel they can exhale. Where they can show up as themselves, be challenged with kindness, and walk away with more clarity and confidence than when they arrived.

I want to be the facilitator who listens deeply. Who can sense when the energy shifts and gently steers the group back to what matters. Who has the courage to hold silence, to sit with discomfort, and to help people find their own answers rather than rushing to provide them.

And yes, I want to be the facilitator who brings warmth, humanity, and a little lightness into the room. The one who reminds people that learning and growing together can be joyful—even when the topics are complex or the stakes feel high.

That’s the sort of facilitator I want to be. Not perfect. Not polished. But present, human, and committed to helping others shine.

Because at its heart, facilitation isn’t about me at all—it’s about the people in the room. And if they leave feeling seen, supported, and inspired, then I’ve done my job.

Work With Me

Whether you're a leader planning your next team session and just need a little help shaping it, or you're looking for an experienced external facilitator to co-design and deliver a powerful workshop or event—I’m here to support you.

✨ Power Hours – Focused coaching to get clarity and structure for your facilitation session.

✨ Event & Workshop Design – Co-create transformational experiences tailored to your group’s needs.

✨ Facilitation Mentoring – Build your confidence, expand your toolkit, and refine your presence as a facilitator.

Let’s make your next group experience impactful, inclusive, and inspiring.

Get in touch to explore how we can work together.